Self Sabotage – I have a degree in this!
What is self-sabotage?
Official meaning: Self-sabotage is when people do (or don’t do) things that block their success or prevent them from accomplishing their goals.
As per the heading, I dont need the official meaning to tell me what I am doing, going to do or have done!
I am the master of Self-Sabotage – tagged, claimed and owned 100%.
So, the question is really, if I know this about myself why dont I stop it?
Easy answer from me… the master. If I dont express or verbalise something like a goal or an intent then I cannot be held accountable.. right?
If I think I can do something and I dont tell anyone then when I dont do it, it has no meaning…right?
If I set a goal and fail but nobody knows about it, I have not failed…right?
If I plan to achieve and dont succeed and I have not told anyone, I have not failed…right?
Yourself is who you need to work with and work on. Lying to yourself, cheating yourself and denying yourself is worse than duping those around you.
They actually dont really care at the end of the day as they has their own agenda and issues to confront and deal with, but if you are the person that is always starting a new diet or fitness challenge or course or job or hobbie or scheme and not achieving at any of them, the you become that person… the friend that everyone is interested in your next adventure but knows deep down that it will last 2 seconds. That front you project as being innovative, ahead of the pack, going to crack it becomes mundane and sometimes laughable to those around you that know you well.
So why is it YOU, dont make it work?
In a nutshell, you self-sabotage!
You stop yourself from entering the mission as wholeheartedly as you professed to do. You make excuses for the reasons it did not work out. You blame the system you entered for not having the infrastructure you needed. You pretty much find any reason to explain or excuse the lack of success in that venture. YOU are afraid of failure. It is not unusual to be this way. You are not alone in your thoughts and your patterns.
So what do one do when they have this tendency?
You reframe! You acknowledge your weakness or faults! You reset! You look deep into your limiting beliefs and work out what your reality is vs what you profess to want to do.
Easier said than done…yes! You need to engage or learn the skill of re-framing for yourself and those around you.
You need to address your level of self-sabotage and work on how to eliminate those fears and use them positively.
More importantly, once you work that out you need to learn to help those around you learn the same tactics to avoid constant disappointment in themselves.
Being a coach with this knowledge and training.
Firstly, as a person with this knowledge and training your world will change and those closest to you will too.
As a coach, this training will allow you to peel back the layers of the onion and discover the real truth and/or issue as the self-sabotager is not entirely upfront.
It is a journey of empathy, no judgement and support. Not one of criticism or encouraging secretive behaviour to evade the reason they engage you as a coach. Not an easy task but such a rewarding outcome.
Want to learn more about this?
Are you passionate about facilitating major transformations in others?
Are you a positive and forward thinking person?
Are you naturally empathetic?
Do strangers start talking to you about things you think need to be private?
Do your friends and/or family rely on you for your listening skills?
If you answered yes to 2 of my questions above you need to consider this as a potential career or addition to your role but dont ignore this obvious as we all have a tendency to do.
Yes, its not a good time.
Yes, we are too old to start studying.
Yes, we need to keep our current income.
Yes, we can justify and convince ourselves that flexible hours and a lucrative income in the peak of the Life Coaching industry is not the right time….because we are self-sabotagers and will always be until we learn not to be!
Signing out on these facts:
You are strong and worthy
You have the time if you want the time
You can impact your life and others
You can achieve anything you want, despite your inner voice
NLP for the win! 🙂